Feb 7, 2012

Struggling with mediocrity.

This might just be my hormones speaking but humor me for a couple of minutes.

Ever since I was a kid I liked dabbling in new things. I love picking up skills left, right and center but my reoccurring problem is always the same: nothing I pick up, I'm extremely good at. It's like being good at starting up a company but never good in properly maintaining it. If there's anything that caught my eye, I may have done it already.

I've done everything from graphic designing to web designing, coding to painting, cooking to baking, making clothes to editing, taking photographs to writing poetry and all of these I'm either half good or horrible at.

I keep having this urge to be better at something and everything so I could blow people's minds. I love being extraordinary and different and talented. I know being talented in something takes years of practice and experience. But despite knowing this, I always feel like I failed in everything I do.

I struggle with being a talentless hack. I have very little under my belt that I could show for. I was never a great artist - I can't paint for shit. I was never a great offline editor - I don't have the patience for it.

I'm not beautiful. I'm not nice. I'm not talented. I'm not even close to be hardworking. And it's a shame because I'm a complete waste of space and taking up oxygen and resources that someone more deserving can have.


  1. i thought u'r good in writing. not quite sure how do u measure good, but at least now i'm subscribing to ur blog coz i enjoyed ur writings. =D