I've always been putting my life on hold for everything else, but not myself. I sacrificed so much time and energy and resources towards things and people that never have and never will matter. I keep dreaming about the day where I finally stop doing all that and just live for my own self because I'm still being self-sacrificing and it's infuriating. I'm angry at myself for not just taking charge of my own life and still being tied to shit that just don't matter.
I wonder everyday why I do this to myself. This is where the self-loathing comes in.
I need to get out of this city, far away where no one knows me.