Dec 28, 2011

How to be a Big Girl - My Journey into Adulthood

As I'm writing this I am laying in my bed waiting for my flu medication to kick in (which I am hoping that I don't need to take anymore from tomorrow onwards) so forgive me if I begin to not make sense.

There's never been a proper guide book or instruction manual on how to be a proper adult. Suddenly one day you wake up and realizing you have a job to go to and a car to pay for and an apartment or room to pay rent for. If you already have at least two of those traits, congratulations, you're an adult. It means you're probably not mooching off your parents (much. Maybe food but that's still ok I think).

But as you grow older, you'll have more responsibilities than you'd like to handle. Taxes, insurance, mortgage, marriage, kids, their welfare, etc..

Seriously - what the fuck.

No one teaches you these things. I'm not that far off from having to pay income tax myself and to be quite honest, I'm terrified as shit. The question that runs in my head all the fucking time is "what if I fuck it up?"

And I'm pretty convinced this is a normal thing.

I'm a 24 year old girl. Not much of a woman, but a girl. And I think the year 2012 will be my year of taking being a Big Girl and wearing my big girl pants a little bit more seriously.

And I just think I found my recurring topic for my blog lolololol. Ok the meds are kicking in. Good night folks!

Dec 20, 2011

That feeling of growing up.

As the year comes to a close, I find myself to be planning for my future. Normally I wouldn't really care much about it and just let the day pass by as how it should.

But this time around, this month especially, I'm beginning to realize that I'm actually getting older and will have more responsibilities under my belt. I am in a steady relationship that is heading towards marriage, I've gotten myself another raise which makes me a little more into becoming a taxpayer.

Next year may just whiz by like this year did. As you get older, my boss said, the days pass by quicker and it's true and i am in fact feeling it.

Right at this point I can't think about anything other than making money and saving up for marriage. I'm of age, and the boyfriend wants it too. Bless my family for not wanting an incredibly traditional setup but just enough do we don't have to spend that much money anyway

Growing up scared me. It still does but I think now I'm a little but more ready than I was last year

Dec 8, 2011

Do what you love, love what you do.

Yesterday I went to lunch with a newfound friend and I suppose we were at the point of getting to know each other. And of course the topic of what we do for a living came up, which is perfectly normal and natural when two adults become friends.

I was supposed to go to a premiere of a film I worked on as a junior colorist but I didn't manage to make it but didn't really feel bad about it.

I told him I work in film. I could call myself a film editor but that's not entirely true. I could spend a day and a half explaining what I do for a living but film editor seems like the easiest way to explain.

His question: "so with long work hours, low pay, less glamorous, why do you do what you do, and you're not even going to watch what you made either"

I've always like to create. Since I was a kid. And more often than not I make things for other people to enjoy. Presents for friends and boyfriends, handmade raya cards when I was 6. A painting for my sister's wedding gift. It usually because I never really had that much money to get a nice expensive gift for anybody.

Similarly, I make movies doesn't necessarily mean I will watch it. I would love to watch it, but if I don't make it, I won't lose sleep on it. All I want is other people to enjoy the things I have had a hand in making.

I do make less than average and I admit it does hurts sometimes but I still enjoy making movies. I grew up in this line and it's pretty much the only thing I understand. I will go out and do something but production, post production more specifically, will have a place in my heart.

If I complained about the money i would've left a year ago. It's not that. It's more than the money. I can still eat, I could still shop. Life is good for me.

Do what you love, love what you do.

Nov 29, 2011

I need to get used to this again.

Once upon a time I used to blog about 8 times in one fucking day back when I was using Livejournal. It's either I have a lot of time in my hands and a lot of stories to tell, or a lot of time in my hands but just decided to post something random (there was no twitter back then you see, so Livejournal was the best choice of following people), or I was sad or depressed about something.

Nowadays it's pretty difficult to keep posting everyday when you're busy about 6 days a week, working almost 10 to 12 hours a day (yes I work that long and no I'm not in a factory. At least not in the most traditional sense). I would draw a comic to dictate my whole day but halfway through I will decide that I'm just too lazy for this.

But people have short attention span. So even if I post this entry, no one will really read it because, well, I have no time and camera to be picture oriented. Otherwise I suppose I could use my iPad because my Blackberry camera is crap. Not that my iPad camera isn't crap. I need a new compact camera.

I salute people who could do this every single day. It's hard, and I know it.

But it's okay, I don't have an audience anyway.

So now, I will leave you with a picture of a cat I found on the interwebs. ENJOYZ.

Nov 26, 2011

Next project

Planning to make this apron dress next. Gotta figure out what prints I should use.

My first dress.

A few months back, I found myself struggling to find the perfect dress to wear to my best friend's wedding. I'm not exactly super slim that I can just get anything off a blogshop (since their "free size" is usually for rather skinny people), nor am I rich enough to get a dress for my size from Dorothy Perkins or plus size shops. So I was stuck, thinking I might have to just wear a baju kurung to the wedding.

But then, a random trip to Kinokuniya make me stumble upon a whole row of Japanese dressmaking books with the patterns. I googled people who make dresses from these books and decided, okay, I'm gonna make my own clothes.

Though I didn't make a dress to wear to my best friend's wedding, I went out and bought this book:

I'm not exactly fluent in Japanese but because it's a "for beginners" book, it was easy to understand. So I decided to make the dress that's on the cover.

But of course, I have to trace the patterns. For people who want to sew from Japanese dress making books, the patterns don't come with seam allowances, so you have to make your own.

The patterns of choice. Bought these Japanese Cotton fabric at Kamdar. 3 meters of the cloth on the right which is the main fabric, 1 meter of the one on the left which is the bottom of the dress.

Truthfully, I didn't really need a total of 4 meters of cloth. I have so much cloth leftover! Patchwork galore!

These were taken before I put on the sleeves and sew the sides close.

The dress is done!

After 6 years of not touching a sewing machine, I created my first dress. I messed up the collar so I covered it up the messy stitches with large buttons. The sleeves are a bit off. But despite the imperfections, I'm wearing it today. 

It ain't perfect, but it's mine! :D

Nov 25, 2011

This is what I do for a living.

I don't shoot them or anything. I just make a story out of them.

I wonder why I still bother with doing this.

o hai. it's me. again. on my 38472984739287429th blog.

yes this is brand spankin' new (until I decide to make another new one when this becomes old and boring. like me).

i have no idea what to say now, but here's a picture of a cat